Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Space pebbles and rocks play pivotal role in giant planet's formation - Phys.org

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Scientists discover 230 new giant viruses that shape ocean life and health - Phys.org

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Wout van Aert rode harder than ever on the Finestre to help deliver Simon Yates to Giro d’Italia victory - Cycling Weekly

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Having read so much about Archie and Lilibet not actually existing, does anyone have any proof that they not only exist but that Meghan gave birth to them?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why do flat earthers exist?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

John Brenkus, host of Emmy-winning ‘Sport Science’ on ESPN, died by suicide - New York Post

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What is something brutally honest that needs to be said?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If my heart stopped beating, would I have enough energy to walk out into the other room 20 ft away before I passed out and died?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do people have polyamorous relationships?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee